Cowardice

The rain is pouring really hard and I’m loving it
Everything seemed to be cozy in an instant
I made my favorite coffee
Sat in front of my laptop

My mind was occupied with so many things
But whenever I try to put it in writing
Every word seemed to be inaccurate

I tried to write about certain topics
But you would always cross my mind
And it made me wonder if you ever thought of me too

I love talking to you
But I’m afraid to initiate a conversation
I want to hear your voice
But I’m afraid it will linger in my head long after you speak

I want to see you
But I’m afraid that I may not be able to look you in the eyes
I want to hear your laughter
But I’m afraid that I will miss it when you’re gone

I want to be with you
But I’m afraid that I won’t be able to say goodbye
I want you
But I’m afraid that if I fall
You won’t be there to catch me after all…

Note: I originally wrote this, one rainy night some time in 2019

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